I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
So much Jack, so little girl.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
