I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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