hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
You dont lie about slip and slides
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
