At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize