Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I supernannyed him into submission
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Randomize
