very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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