I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
