R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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