Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize