It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
