Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Randomize
