Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
