If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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