I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Randomize
