If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
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