i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
