dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
