oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
