My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
