I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
zippers are such a cool invention
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
