Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I need to stop coming to work sober
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
