I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
porn star boner night. come get it.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
