I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
