Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Randomize
