getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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