Plan B is the new Plan A
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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