hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Randomize
