What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
