Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
