atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
