Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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