Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
