GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
