I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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