It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
