Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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