you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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