I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Randomize
