Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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