And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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