To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
