I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
The power of my boobs compel you
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
