Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
party gras won. party gras always wins.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
