There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
