A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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