i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
