Kiss
Puke
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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