If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
