i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
