I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Dignity is for republicans.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
