They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
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