Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(219): View more from Indiana

I thought Christmas was going to come before I did

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(605): View more from South Dakota

I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.

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(314): View more from Missouri

When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..

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(330): View more from Ohio

I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call

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(602): View more from Arizona

You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm

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(218): View more from Minnesota

I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan

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(201): View more from New Jersey

if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it

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(601): View more from Mississippi

Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working

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