Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
