...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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