I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Randomize
