Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
