Nicole vs. Life
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
FUCK WHALES
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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