Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Randomize
