party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
