I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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