The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
people are starting to question the shark bite story
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
