why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
