Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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