okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
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