I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
