If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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