We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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