You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
