"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
