Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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