I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
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